I’m talking to my first serious girlfriend, Steph. As far as I can tell, this dream is built around the accurate history: dated for about 4 years, she went off to date another guy for a while, they broke up, we stopped talking entirely, she starts off with a long-term boyfriend. The dream starts with her cheating on him with me. It’s sort of a weird mix through time: I live at my mom’s house (my mom doesn’t), Steph lives at a monstrous apartment near her parents’ place, she’s hanging out with her old roommate from Michigan. Anyways, we are happily going at it pretty consistently and keeping it a secret from her boyfriend. The whole thing makes me become pretty nice to the guy despite the fact that he’s a royal douche (in the dream, I’ve never met the guy in real life). Her Michigan roommate, however, hates me and decides to take my skateboard and spray paint it white. The whole thing, wheels and all. I am furious, but Steph thinks it’s awesome. I storm out and go wait for Steph’s dad (in real life a guy who loved hanging out with me and was awesome to talk to) to come home so we can sit around and bitch about women and play with his bichon frises. The boyfriend comes home first, who was mentally replaced Kiani’s friend Tufts, and I take great pleasure casually inserting the fact that his girlfriend has been cheating on him with me for a long time.

I kind of woke up at this point in disgust, 30 seconds later my alarm went off.

This is the closest thing to a nightmare I have regularly. The whole Steph thing ended terribly and I’ve long since moved on. Unfortunately, dreams about it all still recur more often than I like.