I went out drinking last night. That combined with some 9 AM shelf hanging by my neighbor won me about 7 strange dreams, a few of which I still have some details still in my noodle. I’ll go from earliest to latest.

1) I’m in Colorado for some reason that seems vaguely like a conference or convention. It almost feels like it was related to science. Anyways, at some point Mara is with me. (Mara is a high school classmate of mine, a girl of whom I have always particularly fond) Our accomadations are in what seems to be the Colorado equivalent of Wisconsin Dells. As Mara and I are walking past one of waterslides at our hotel/resort, I decided that I need to cut my hair. A barber would take too long, so we went to the front desk of our hotel where, luckily, they had an electric clipper and a “setting 1” attachment. I am so impatient that I start using it right away, cutting by feel. Of course, I mess up and my hair starts to look awful. We go to the store to get a new attachment, then back up to the hotel room to finish it. There, I think that I do not want hair clippings on my clothes. I turn to Mara and say “well, I’m comfortable enough with you to do this naked” and strip down. Not to be outdone, she does too. (Of note: this dream was rated G, as there was always something blocking any/all view of body parts that aren’t to be exposed in public. It was like the last scene of Austin Powers) The clipper attachment/mirror allows me to finish my haircut, which looks fantastic. I tell Mara that I will meet her downstairs, throw on some clothes, and get in the elevator. I get off and come face to face with Kiani. I stop dead, awestricken, and just stare as she does the same. The elevator dings and Mara steps out, pauses, and tells me that “she will just see me later.” Mara exits, leaving Kiani and me to our shocked silence.

2) I’m at a HUGE waterpark with some of my med school peers, but I cannot remember exactly which ones. We get off a watercoaster and see some of the med students from the year above us (the social chair and his friends). We want to avoid them because they are engaging in douche-baggery. The dream was all about our attempts to duck them, but I remember little more than it being hot and sunny.

3) I am in the second to last level of Serious Sam, an absurdly satirical computer game. I am playing Sam’s role, but I’m still me. There is a train on its side near the tracks so I use my various gear to right it. Inside the cars is like a convoluted series of loft apartments, and each loft is lofted in other lofts… if that makes sense. I find one loft with all of its tiny rooms/lofts full of weapons. I begin to wonder who would hoard such a cache. Eventually, I find a room of antique swords. I catch the owner trying to sneak up the ladder into this loft and get me with a sword. It turns out to be a slim, gay woman who thought I was a bandit or something. I tell her I need her help to stop the alien onslaught outside (Serious Sam, remember?) and she agrees. We leave the train of lofts, and the dream ends there.

4) I am at a Vatican Mass of much importance. There are thousands in the pews of this never-ending cathedral. From my pew, I notice Pope Benedict asleep in his chair. This starts a personal cascade of loathing for his empire resulting in my belief that this mass must be ruined by any means. As each of the 1,000’s of parishioners begin filing past the Pope for some rite, I am given a flag thing draped from a pole. Although it is at this time covered by a curtain draped over it, I know what it says: some celebration that the Catholics are the most family oriented people in the world, and that there have been over a million catholic weddings to prove it. As I walk up to Benedict, he wakes and gives his speech that all Jews are now “Honorary Catholics” because Jesus was a Jew, as was Peter, the first Pope of the Catholic Church. Since I know that he is only making this audacious claim to fill his “Catholic quota”, I hand him his flag thing and intentionally take my time leaving the stage, ruining all the photo-ops as he unveils it to the masses. But, that doesn’t ruin the ceremony enough for my tastes. So, since it is apparently Ash Wednesday, people line up to get the cross on their foreheads. I am given a bowl of ash to help because there are so many people, so I start making the scar of Harry Potter on the heads of the people. The bishops notice with outrage as people start leaving the cathedral, but they can’t tell how this happened. I smile and exit quietly.

See, when I drink, they become more vivid and they are also less random in that they involve a few things I actually running through my mind before I went to sleep (Kiani, the older med students, loft apartments, Harry Potter, etc.)